But there are science-backed ways to create closure for yourself. — I changed my mind at least a dozen times. Do I want to see him or do I not? What would I even want him to say? I knew our relationship was over and with the amount of hurt that had built up, there was really no point in seeing…

Why trust is not enough and why you need an emotional bank account. — In my corporate job, my main role is to support complex and often distressed projects where millions of dollars are at stake. Emotions (particularly negative ones) are frequently running high, and the urgency is always elevated. I often get asked what my approach is to turning these projects around. Here’s…

You wouldn’t choose tenants based on how much they stress you out so don’t do the same with thoughts you allow in your mind. — Let’s imagine that you finally bought your dream house. Not just any old house you can afford, but “The Dream Home.” The one you could only afford after eating ramen noodles for ten years. The one that’s been on your vision board since you were 18. The one you maxed…

A brutally honest look at my racist biases towards my own race — “I’m just not into Asian guys,” I would say flippantly as I dated my way through the rainbow of white, brown, black, and olive-skinned men. “I’m not sure why,” I would say. I may not have known why I didn’t like Asian men, but I did know that my preferences…

Why dopamine is both friend and foe and how to escape the dopamine trap. — “You know, May…It’s not going to change your life,” my boss says gently. I wasn’t even really listening. I was so close to that promotion I had wanted for so long. We have a deal, I thought in my head. I work hard, and you give me the title and…

Why pick-up lines don’t work and what to try instead. — Note: The events described below, and the feelings of the women are real although it did not happen on the same night with the same person. Though the story revolves around talking to women, the points I’m making are not gender-specific. I want you to imagine this with me. You…

Research shows we need gentle, non-sexual touch. But many people find it too awkward to ask for it. — “I’m not sure how to say this. I guess what I want you to do more of is…this.” My friend Mark takes a step towards me and gingerly places his hand between my shoulder blades. A light touch followed by the slightest movement. A small rub. He immediately steps back. …

Step 1 — Stage a rebellion — I recently staged a rebellion. It was a rebellion of one person, but the results were nothing short of life changing — which is why I’m doing my darndest to convince you to stage a rebellion of your own, too. Here’s how it all started. After many attempts at joining…

Why simply being likable isn’t enough. — Jamie was surprised. He thought his friendships were solid. He was never short of people to hang out with and never had to wonder if people liked him. They did. They told him this all the time. Yet, when his girlfriend unexpectedly broke up with him and told him that…