I suppose “because I told you to” probably isn’t good enough…
OK, I get it.
You don’t really know me and there are a gajillion writers out on Medium right now wanting your eyeballs.
Maybe you read one of my articles, and you liked it. And the very next day, I wrote something totally different and it made you think, “What is this girl all about?”
Now, this is usually where most writers start talking about themselves (which I’ll get to) but before I ask for any more of your attention, let me tell you what’s in it for you.
My Promise to You
I promise I won’t churn out endless listicles and quoticles (yes…
An easy index to help you navigate to the parts of my writing you enjoy
If you’re reading this, then the first thing I want to say is thank you. Your support means more than you know and I hope that you will reach out one day and leave a comment or say hi. I created this index to help you find my latest work easier. I also sorted the rest of my work by most popular and by category so you can read more of what you like and ignore more of what you don’t. Enjoy!
One that changed my life and one I’m making to you
When I was 18 and first started going out to clubs with friends and drinking alcohol, my brother made me an offer that taught me a lot about what it means to really show up for someone.
He made me an unconditional offer.
“I don’t care what time it is or how far away you are. If the person driving you has been drinking, you call me. I’ll be there. I promise I won’t ask any questions.”
To this day it reminds me of what unconditional actually means — no judgment, no shame, no strings attached.
Every day, we say…
Sometimes, it’s not about you at all.
It literally felt like we were playing out a Hollywood movie. Carter was the heir to a wealthy family and we had met after a series of wild coincidences. For our first date, he drove for 16 hours to meet me and ended up staying with me for two weeks straight. Yup, you read that right. Our first date lasted for two weeks.
He was gorgeous and passionate. We stayed up all night talking every night. We had amazing sexual chemistry. He poured his heart out to me and told me that he had never been able to share these…
And how to do it without jeopardizing your relationship
“I think you should go on a date with him,” my then-boyfriend, James, said.
To say he is an astute person is an understatement — but I was caught off guard and the only response I could manage was, “Who?”
Without missing a beat he said, “Jordan. I saw the sparks fly between you two.”
I scrutinized his expression to see if he was baiting me. His face was calm and he had a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“It’s OK. Really. We’re both going to be attracted to other people eventually and I know you — you’re going to…
One fades over time while the other will always keep growing
Let’s imagine that you just recently bought your dream house. As you sat in your garden on a warm spring day enjoying your coffee, it suddenly occurred to you that you urgently needed some shade. So, you set out to your local hardware and garden shop.
“Well my dear, you have two options,” says the elderly store owner with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“The first is this,” he said as he pulls out a beautiful plastic free-standing umbrella. It had bright colors, was made of exquisitely patterned fabric, and could instantly be adjusted into different configurations and heights.
…
When big things are hard to come by, add up the small things.
How do two people living the exact same pandemic life have polar opposite experiences?
This question pops into my head every time I speak to two people — both of whom have the same external variables. They live in the same house, have to abide by the same rules, go to the same school, and even eat the same food. Yet, though their activities are the same, their moment-to-moment experience of life is completely different.
Allow me to demonstrate what I mean.
“How was your day?” I ask my 11-year old nephew, Joel.
“It was terrible. We’re still stuck here…
Underrated traits that matter more than 6-pack abs
Lana and her fiance, Mike, often joke that they are not on each other’s radar. And it’s true — they’re not. When they first started dating, they often wondered why they never popped up on each other’s dating apps. They finally realized it was because neither person matched any of the criteria the other person entered in their apps. They weren’t even in the acceptable age groups for each other!
I’ve known Lana almost our entire lives and Mike is definitely not the man she thought she wanted. As a successful, outgoing, and athletic woman — she had always sought…
They are the only ones who will have the answers you’ve forgotten about.
“I don’t know why you’re so scared. It seems pretty easy to me,” she stares at me with the casual innocence and defiance that she is so famous for.
“You’re just writing, right? Type words in and hit publish? That’s it? No snakes or spiders?”
I nod tentatively. I hate it when she’s right and she’s so often right. How does one explain societal expectations, fear of rejection, Resistance (with a capital R), and the Ego (with a capital E) to a 9-year-old? One doesn’t.
Because she doesn’t care and that’s what I love about her. She’s not looking for…
Real-life examples to help you understand how they think and feel
I want you to play along with me. Let’s imagine that last week, you went to a bar and met four people you were attracted to. You thought giving a compliment would be a pretty safe thing to do. So, you say the same thing to each person, “You look great tonight.”
You got a glare, a beaming smile, silence, and a nervous laugh. In the same outfit, the same mood, and with the same line — you got four very different responses. …
May Pang
I write about connection — with yourself and with others. I want to hear from you!💙Mailing-list: https://maypang.substack.com/💗email: maeyalily@gmail.com
