Sometimes looks, charm, and magnetism aren’t the main things people end up falling for

My friend Alex is quite possibly the reincarnation of Casanova. I have never seen anyone who could get so many women to salivate over him just by walking into a room. It didn’t matter if they were shy or outgoing, young or old — they would immediately turn to mush the minute he looked their way.

It made me curious. How does someone who could have anyone he wanted choose who he would date? More importantly, who does he fall in love with? So, a few years ago, I asked him.

He told me something that I’ll always remember.

“There are two kinds of women in this world. The kind you date, and the kind you…

Usual self-care not working? Go deeper and simpler with tried-and-true concepts of wellbeing from around the world

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this — but self-care is hard right now.

Many of us who are used to deriving our sense of happiness from social gatherings, going to the gym, playing team sports, or going to concerts are struggling to find our small pockets of sanity and joy. As our sense of well-being continues to deteriorate, so does our productivity. Most of us seem to be coping with this by forcing ourselves to be more productive.

Unfortunately, our attempts at being hyperproductive to compensate for our lack of productivity just seem to kick off a new spiral of frustration which further erodes our happiness. It turns out, we can’t force ourselves into being in a mentally productive state without first addressing our overall wellbeing. …

An interview with the editor of one of Medium’s largest publications — her advice for writers, her selection process, her writing, and life outside Medium

Brittany Jezouit is the editor of Better Marketing which is currently one of the largest and fastest-growing publications on Medium with 108k subscribers. The publication focuses on being the go-to on how to market effectively — with a unique emphasis on ethical and authentic marketing. They publish tutorials, case studies, how-tos, inspiration, writing advice, industry trends, and high-level strategy tips from industry experts.

The Better Marketing publication was founded by Coach Tony who is also the founder of the Better Humans publication, the Better Programming publication, and the coaching platform (Coach.me).

The first three words in Brittany Jezouit’s Medium profile are kindness, creativity, and curiosity, and all three descriptions are immediately obvious to me when I chatted with Brittany. If there is a fourth word I would use, it would be presence. …

Tried and true fun ways to break up the monotony of quarantine life

My aunt posted this on her Facebook page the first time her family went into lockdown:

“I survived 21 years of marriage but I’m not sure I can survive 21 days of quarantine!!!”

I laughed but I knew she was only half-joking. As the pandemic dragged on, many of my friends who had been in stable, multi-year relationships began to echo that sentiment. Nothing was “wrong” with their relationship per se but quarantine had taken some of the “sparkle” out of it.

Sometimes, things just felt a little flat and it was tough to get motivated to go on a date night in the living room with the same person you’d been hanging out with all day. It was also hard for it to feel like a date when you didn’t even have a reason to get out of your pajamas. …

Make sure you’re not setting yourself up for heartbreak again

Every person has felt the isolation of the pandemic, but none more than my single friends.

My friend Mark lamented the other day, “Who knew that of all the things that I’ve had to deal with during the pandemic— losing my job, canceled trips, missing out on concerts — that the hardest thing would be crushing loneliness? Who would’ve thought that endless Zoom calls would just make you feel more lonely?”

Mark is as introverted as they come and had initially thought that the pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to him. …

An interview with the editor of one of Medium’s largest publications - her advice for writers, her selection process, her writing, and life outside Medium

Better Humans is currently the 10th largest and the 7th fastest growing publication on Medium with close to 400k subscribers. The publication focuses on human potential and self-improvement and is unique in that it features empathetic tutorials. This means that the publication expects writers to demonstrate personal experience in applying the advice they are providing. The advice also needs to be backed by evidence and framed in a way that is clearly actionable for the reader. A writer for Better Humans is like a trusted friend who can share insider tips, warn you of potential pitfalls, and help you solve problems that may arise in your own journey. …

And what not to do when it happens

“It happened again,” she sobbed into the phone.

Without asking, I knew what she meant.

My friend Sandra has the unenviable track record of being the most ghosted person I know. Once, she had an unbroken string of being ghosted five times in a row. The relationships were of different lengths, with very different people, but the outcome was the same.

Poof. Gone. No text. No call. No explanation.

The other person would go from talking and texting every day to completely vanishing off the face of the earth.

In the past, I would always be just as surprised as she was. But by the time number five came along, we could both see the signs. Most people I know who are ghosted always seem to be completely caught off guard. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Sandra’s dating misadventures, it’s that it never happens suddenly. …

Same story, different person? Here’s how to break the toxic cycle.

“I think it’s happening again,” Ben said forlornly.

“How do you know?” I asked in surprise. His new relationship seemed to have been going well for once.

“All the signs are there. She takes longer and longer to respond to text messages. Doesn’t want to commit to firm plans. Makes vague excuses when I ask her if something is wrong. Shorter answers. You know, you’ve heard it all before.”

He was right. I had heard it all before. It played out the same way every single time. He meets a great woman, they get close, and she abruptly ends it.

At first, this always surprised me because Ben is gorgeous, sweet, and emotionally articulate. On paper, he’s a total catch. And yet, it was like he was the lead role in a bad play. …