Why “Do what makes you happy” is terrible advice. And why you must “Do what makes you flourish” instead — When I was a confused 17-year-old trying to decide what to do with my life, I was repeatedly given the advice, “Do what makes you happy!” So, I did. Or at least I did what I thought would make me happy. In my teenage mind, this equated to doing things…

Secrets to building the most underrated love language — Whenever I reflect on the success of my current relationship, no one is more surprised by it than me. The relationship was everything I wanted, but it just didn’t show up the way I thought it would. Sure, he is attractive, smart, funny, and loving. But the start of our…

3 steps to overcome learned helplessness and to find an answer to this important question — What was your immediate emotional reaction when you read the headline? Be honest — Was it fear? Or just a teeny bit of anxiety? Don’t worry if it is, you are not alone. …

Uncommon ways to access the transformative power of positive disintegration — “How would you feel if you were in this exact situation in six years?” I asked. My friend Brooke responded without a second of hesitation, “Oh God, I would kill myself.” And she meant it. Brooke had been in an abusive marriage for over 28 years. She recalls how she…

(Almost) everything you desire lives on the other side of fear. — “Is this how stupid people die?” I heard the voice in my head say as my fear spiraled a little. Okay, a lot. The car was slowing down, and I had no idea if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Yet, I was clearly out of options…

Tap into the concept of Post Traumatic Growth. — In 2000, the king and queen of rock climbing were 21-year-old Tommy Caldwell and 20-year-old Beth Rodden. Tommy had just recently completed one of the hardest rock climbs in the country. An equally impressive Beth Rodden had also been the youngest female to complete the hardest grade achieved by a…

How to master the language of emotional intimacy to unlock deeper connections and transform your life. — Mark is one of the most intellectual people I know. He’s one of those people you go to for financial advice, or as I jokingly like to say, “Adulting advice.” As a highly successful software engineer, it’s safe to say that he speaks data and facts like a literal pro. …

Luckily, statistics also tell you how not to. — Once upon a time, I met the person I’d been asking the universe for. We even met in the exact way I would have wanted to. I was on a solo rock-climbing road trip and through a series of fateful and unlikely events, we happened to be the only two…

Every good parent deserves it but would never think to ask for it. — When I was a little girl, my father was my hero. I remember trying to arm wrestle him and thinking that beating him would literally never be possible. Once when we were going on vacation, we placed our bags on a scale and quickly realized that we had overpacked. …